We all admire them, looking at how they walk in the street or in the park: holding hands, smiling and wearing those invisible crowns that the power of love puts on the chosen ones. Poems, songs, films and novels have been dedicated to them. The couples who keep and nurture their love for years on end. At a time when separation and divorce are much more common, these couples are becoming rarer and rarer. Is there a formula for happy love and what do these happy people know that keeps eluding the rest of us? Ten little secrets which do not require efforts, but attention. And care.
1. Never underestimate the importance of asking your partner how their day has been. Small gestures of attention do not become boring just because they have become a daily routine. At the end of the day, when you feel weaker and lonelier than ever, it is good to know that the person you love is next to you. And wants to know the details of your day.
2. Some conflicts are just conflicts. They have nothing to do with separation. You could be madly in love with each other and still have an argument for something petty. Conflicts should not be confused for separation. The couples who have been together for a long time realise this and choose their relationship to their disagreements.
3. Little surprises have a long-term effect. Your loved one loves chocolate ice-cream? Take a few boxes on the way home to show them that you think about them even when you are doing something so trivial and boring like shopping.
4. A kiss hello and a kiss goodbye. They really are the sweetest thing on earth. Stopping for a moment of tenderness before heading full speed to your busy day. Or seeing you off to your front door and kissing you goodbye after a fight. The more kisses, the better. They show that you are the most important to each other.
5. Sometimes you need to say no to an invitation for party, in order to be the two of you on your own. Just because you have nothing planned for the evening, it does not mean that you need to follow somebody else’s plans. Life becomes faster and faster with years, and that’s why it would be good for you to be able to have time, so as to spend it together.
6. More “I love you’s” are better than less. These three words never get old. On the contrary, they gain more and more power with years.
7. Do not be late. Many pointless arguments could be avoided when you arrive on time.
8. If someone talks negatively about your partner, defend them. Even when you are too diplomatic to correct people or answer back their rudeness, sometimes you need to make an exception. After all, you are the biggest support that you have for each other.
9. Be spontaneous. Book a table for dinner just for the two of you at the last minute. Or simply walk into your favourite restaurant and have a bite at the bar in case there are no tables available. Surprise them with tickets to the concert of their favourite band. Unexpected surprises introduce a breath of fresh air to your relationship.
10. Love each other unconditionally. Sometimes this is all that it takes for you to stay together for years on end.
Text: Veliana Simeonova