I had never even thought that I might have found you here exactly. At this unfamiliar, gloomy and expressionless place of bored eyes and polished, cold smiles.
It has always been difficult for me to fit into such scenarios and therefore my first question was, “What am I even doing here?” And because there was no place reserved for me, I just sat down in a way so that I can watch, but not participate in this whole “performance”.
A little later, the questions changed. I realised that the performance had moved “off-stage”… And now the other “main character” is sitting next to me. Right next to me. And yes, this is a performance, and yes, I am taking part in it without any preparation, without any warning, without a script, without make-up, and without an audience.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from yours, neither was I able to laugh while you were laughing. I had the strange feeling that last night someone had told you about all the thoughts in my head and there you were in front of me arranging them one by one.
I had the feeling we were feeling the same…
And I didn’t want to leave, I didn’t want to let your hand go…
The answers I was looking for were looking at me disapprovingly.
I was only able to remain silent. I felt them on my forehead like a kiss… for good night.
Now I know that there is no way towards great love, but great love helps our steps along the way feel more secure.
I know that we can hold many hands, but unless they are the ones that we can trust, then our palms will always be cold.
I know that we can live for a long time even when we are alone and we have a beautiful house, but without love, we are absolutely homeless.
Now I know that even if we search and look at every single face we meet along the way, our eyes won’t find anything they could love.
A person can only love with their heart…
And every heart has its half, and only its own half can find and recognise it… Until then, a heart is never broken, but just empty.
You know what? What unites us is that we are alone…
Text: Eva Koleva