We start this piece of material on the condition that any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or any actual events is purely coincidental. The idea to talk about men that we don’t want to be with made us spend a whole two hours yesterday thinking and overthinking what we have learned from our exes and what we are never going to look for in men in the future. Carried away on the topic, we moved the conversation from the office to a usually quieter Sofia bar, where three martinis and a mojito were enough of an artistic environment for us to discuss men that women don’t want to be with. Please take a look at the following conclusions.
The man who doesn’t have a plan. This type of man lives for the moment, but not in the positive meaning of this phrase, but in the one where he is absolutely careless and in a state of stagnation. The man who doesn’t have a plan is easily satisfied with days going by the same way. He has no agenda to follow through the years and avoids getting into details about the future in general. He also has a position where he could technically grow, but in fact, has no chance of doing so for the lack of the thing we call a general idea about what you want from life.
The man who doesn’t know how to change a light bulb. A friend of mine once had a boyfriend with whom she had spent almost three years – just as long as the lifecycle of an energy-saving light bulb. When the light bulb in question stopped working, the man, according to her words, didn’t even have an idea that it had to be replaced. After several months, my friend and he broke up. In my opinion, the problem was deeper, but she insists that everything started with the light bulb in the hallway.
The metrosexual man. That fixed attention to their own outer appearance, that state of feeling intoxicated in front of the mirror, and that self-admiration transform these men… let’s be honest about it, into women. Full-body hair removal, eyebrows in shape, manicure, pedicure, hairstyle, make-up… oops, the last one just slipped out. And we pray: “Stop admiring yourselves and let us do this!” But when their whims about how they look cross the borders of even our female vanity, we say “No” to these well-kept alpha males and we turn around so that they could see our wavy hair especially curved by the wind in those particular curls.
The ever-lasting football fan. He keeps collecting Barça T-shirts, knows about everything that is broadcast on pay-per-view football channels and his greatest woes are having to pay attention to his wife during the World Cup. We realise very well that everyone has a hobby, but when this transforms into mania, it is not the same anymore. And the fact that we dislike going out on a first date with the guy sneaking peeks into the game on his phone, no, this is not some sort of a girl’s whim, this is actually bad manners and horrible taste on the guy’s part. We love this game, too, but everything has its proper time.
The jealous only one. Oh, he is quite a common species. You will know him by the look on the face of his girlfriend. Even though we are privileged enough to live in a democratic society with freedom of expression, such a man has his say on her clothes, her makeup, hairstyle, and even the people that she communicates with – the only one, who is eaten up by jealousy even with his own shadow.
The man with the drink and the snack. This is a cliché, but you know what type of men we are talking about, right? They come back from work, sit down on the sofa in order to watch the central news, for example, and they expect their wives to have already laid the table with that priceless ambrosia so they could “unwind” after long working and non-working days.
The “You-choose” man. Here, we consider two options. This could be either a man without personal opinion or one who obviously shows that he is sick of everything. It’s just that both options are not acceptable. Sometimes, we want a man to know what to do and to want to do it even if it comes to picking a restaurant for dinner.
The man who loves listening to himself. Those chatterboxes are just too much for us sometimes. Yes, we already know how important his last business trip was, how he shone out in front of all his colleagues, what kind of fragrance he bought from the airport, and what kind of hotel he stayed in, but let’s keep a minute’s silence to pay homage to good manners in conversation, which have apparently gone forever. We are going, too, somewhere we could have a natural, laid-back conversation.
The man with the big heart. An explorer at heart, he is more than glad to be a gentleman for any lady. He believes that being with another girl in another city is not considered cheating, because he is, after all, all love and he loves them all. He believes that long-term relationships are for fools and there is no way for him to stay with one girl for a long time because just look at how many women there are in this world!
The man who doesn’t know how to spell “know”. We do not insist on everyone being a philologist, but we do not like those ones who literally stopped working on their literacy somewhere around fourth grade and don’t even care how to get better. You will know this type of guy by the texts that he sends you. You will often see numbers and short forms there, which sound more like some inarticulate sounds and weird mistakes coming from constant typing. Oh, well… at least it can get quite funny sometimes.
Text: Fashion Inside