Life is long, short or with some average expectancy as they calculate it nowadays. Life is stormy, loud or boring, it is normal, abnormal or whatever we make it. Life is a game of words and deeds, there are scenes, sometimes plots and most importantly, there are characters. By and large, life is our film, which is always nominated for the Oscars in several categories at least.
My film falls into the genre of comedy more than any other. In the morning, I spill coffee on my sleeve only when I’m wearing a white shirt. I have a dog that,every once in a while, eats parts of the interior at home. It also turns out that, to my dismay, I have a contract with the municipality for inspecting and reporting newly-formed potholes in the streets when I mention them in the repair shop. Well, I love this comedy of mine and so what?! After all, I direct it myself.
For best supporting actress and actor, the awards go daily to my mother and father. It is thanks to them that my life is not a horror film and there is no melodrama in it. From time to time, there comes a story that could perfectly fit into a Latin American soap opera, but this is only at the times when my mom insists how bad it is that I’m not saving up to buy my own flat. I usually calm her down with presents from my last trip and I explain that, in order to have an easy-going film, I need adventures rather than long-term agreements with banks.
I still haven’t given the award for best actor in my life. There are nominees, but they are never good enough, perhaps because of the bad acting or the stage fright, so they always fall out of the script. I hope I will find the main character soon, and until then, I will have time for a Cosmopolitan with yet another nominee.
The awards for best makeup and hairstyling, best costume design and best sound editing have gone to three girlfriends of mine, who, just like me, love life, pressure, outrageous situations and loud parties. Every day I shoot the story of my film with them and, let me tell you, this is not just a biopic but a mega production that sometimes coincides with my plans and dreams in the most incredible way. And when you come to think of it, perhaps you, too, are living in some state of existential euphoria, but you still haven’t given it an Oscar and a little recognition. And why not do it even today?
Text: Steffi Stoeva