When the roles have already merged, women have started managing on their own, and men have no problem doing the housework, making the home cosy and taking good care of the children – good thing that they haven’t started giving birth yet – I am wondering whether it’s right or wrong for me to touch upon the matters of the responsibilities and values which we are growing up with and whether they are helping us or, robbing us.
Let’s say that I claim this to be my thesis and yes, I want to be a woman. I was born as such and I enjoy being one. I want to be 100 percent a woman and I don’t mind men being the strong, the brave and the successful ones! As long as they let us – women – be the delicate, the beautiful and the fragile ones. As long as they let us be the mothers and let this be more than important. Let us be the housewives and let this be extremely valuable. Let them love us as such with all the importance and appreciation of these qualities of ours. I cannot stop asking myself what has happened in recent years that everyone has confused their roles. Whether it is feminism that has messed things up – an initially good idea which we – people – have corrupted. Women have started taking the initiative, multitasking, making their own living and managing on their own, and men… We have to be careful with them and their feelings. Have we – women – done something to them or, is it a matter of upbringing of different generations?
Here, I don’t skip women being the main part of this upbringing and our responsibility to give confidence and a personal example to our children in the ways which we are familiar with. But what do we actually know, what values do we believe in? We believe and we teach our daughters that they need to be strong, independent and tough, that otherwise it will be difficult for them to deal with life. This is how we have been taught… Being womanly, a mother or a wife is nowadays something far too usual for us to teach girls how to be good at it. For boys, on the other hand, honour, courage and selflessness sound like weird vows from past times and distant ages.
Yes, I agree that it is not easy to be a man nowadays but this is entirely applicable to women, as well. Here is why I wouldn’t tell a man how little it takes to be a “real” one, because it is not true. Neither will I let them explain to me how easy it is to be a woman. Everyone has their own function in a relationship, in a partnership or in a society and this is why we belong to one gender or the other. My deepest respect to the LGBTQ community. I truly believe that these people have specific reasons for doing exactly what they want and are doing, but here – in this text – I am not talking about this.
But when did the borderline blur and fade and when did everyone start wanting to take up all the responsibilities of the opposite sex in order to prove themselves worthy? Yes, we can manage with everything, but when women are thrown in at the “battlefield” and when men are on “maternity leave”, the purposes and values of children in the present-day reality are only a natural consequence.
And here is what the dictionary says:
Femininity – qualities that are considered to be typical of women, especially qualities that are gentle, delicate, and pretty.
Synonyms – womanliness, gentleness, delicacy, weakness.
Masculinity – the features and qualities considered to be typical of men, especially qualities of being brave, strong and confident.
Synonyms – manliness, bravery, courage, fearlessness, selflessness, self-confidence, firmness, decisiveness.
And so, women have long stopped being the weaker sex, but do we feel better in this new position? And did we scare the gentlemen away, or did we rob them when we became brave, strong, independent and tough?
Unfortunately, my feminine nature has a tendency to presume that their “thing” is already quite messed up and even if we know what women want, we are only left with the hope that there are still some men who know what they want and what they value. And be it even from past times and distant ages.
Text: Marlena Manolova