CHERRIES IN NOVEMBER

x


Lying to your eyes that something keeps them open, that love has different faces and they change… It isn’t so difficult…

Lying to your hands that they are caressing someone’s sides with tenderness – it isn’t impossible… Getting a slap or tears on your sides in return – it isn’t so scary!

But go – go and try lying to your heart that there is the first true love…, the second…, the next one…

There is no countable love.

Two or three true loves…

Or are there?

There is only one love.

It comes uninvited.

Un-beckoned.

It doesn’t ask whether you want it or you don’t…

It settles down…

Down to the bone… And down to your heart…

It acts contrary to any logical and physical laws – should you try to root it out, it will grow thorns, it will scratch your palms, it will tear your eyes, it will rend you asunder… It will make you bleed…

And in the end – as a reward – it will leave you alive.

It will let you live it… It! And remain silent.

You have marked me… While looking coldly at me from afar, with eyes half closed, half turned away from all my beauty… Let me be beautiful! But nobody’s!

You have doomed me to yourself as though your eyes have done magic to me – dark magic…

Dark eyes, dark cherries – the sweetest ones… Let them be bitter to me! Let their sweetness taste bitter to me if I’m not looking at you! Let my lips dry out if I kiss another’s…

Let it be heavy…

And the cherries, which are the fruit of the most tender spring colour – you gave them the colour, let them be dark – dark and sweet…

Let the wrists of my hands be heavy – if I stretch them out towards somebody else!

You have cursed me… With every hug I hang loose in the air even when I rest on someone’s shoulders…

Let me be cursed if they are someone else’s and not yours!

You have tied me – with your every refusal to let me closer to your skin, with your every “Go away!”, while pulling my hands towards yourself and looking at me closely – but not in a thirsty way. Bloodthirsty!

You have tied a knot – you have tied my heart – not with chains, not with ropes… You have tied my heart itself into a knot – it is only your fingers that know how to untie such a heart…

It is only me who knows where to pick cherries in November!

Your every “No!” is a ring of your impossible, unseen, unheard of – personal and unwanted…, cursed and sworn love!

Let it be cursed together with me!

And me – under your eyelids, under your gaze – turned away, under your spell – let me be impossible… Sworn – not to be anybody’s! … If I don’t love you!

Let me see the snows of winter in rose gold and let the fire burn me… Let me know it – the sub-zero heat, if I only think of being someone else’s! Let me see the gold of autumn in green and still not fully blossomed, still unborn… spring – just conceived! If I only think of changing your eyes with someone else’s, for me to look at!

They – the others – let them look at me – let them! Let them see that I am yours – let them know and ask “How?!”

Let me hear the voice of the bird, having been locked in a cage all her life, dumb because of the iron of the key, having been locked there… singing, but…having no voice to scream… Let me be one of these birds! … And should I go out – let me fly afterwards!

If I think of saying “Yes!” to somebody else…

Let me become as black as the soil underneath my feet – wherever I pass by…

If I dress in white, let me pretend to be somebody else’s bride – somebody else’s – except for yours – the unwanted one… turned away from the way… And afterwards let me call this way an altar!

Let me be – the bride of the dark cherries! The November ones!

Me – the one, bewitched by good eyes…

This is how you have called me – “Yours!”

This is how I will remain – yours – from November to November, I will dimly glow in the dawn of someone else’s eyes… while yours look at me – in order to extinguish everything! Let the sun not shine… only if I think of stopping loving you!

Let me be cursed!

Text: Eva Koleva

Photo: Press

Related
More on the topic



Comments

FASHION INSIDE CLUB

Expect our discounts, promotions, news and limited offers.
Subscribe Now!



/


What's new

MICHELLE MASON – Silk-satin wrap gown

Fashion Inside Recommended

VIX – Marion wrap-effect linen-blend playsuit

Fashion Inside Recommended

KENZO – Printed cotton-jersey T-shirt

Fashion Inside Recommended

CURRENT/ELLIOTT – The Boyfriend distressed denim shorts

If you've missed
most popular